WorldSave

Perhaps it is a purely personal thing, but I like to think I’m not the only one who likes to escape myself from time to time. And I do not mean to do so in a way most people choose — drugs, drinking, dangerous behavior and what-have-you. I mean a change of pace, of scenery, perhaps even of personality. To try on different shoes for once and discover you missed the old pair.

Lately I’ve been trying to break out of some terrible old habits. Its been a work in progress, but it has indeed been progress, which is more than I can say of previous attempts to do just this. But what creates this desire to break into something new? I can only think that it is a final attempt to change a current situation when anything short of a total makeover will just not suffice. That’s where my life has gone as of late - almost a complete 180. I’ve chosen to shed even some of the things I loved in order to gain new perspective. Losing these along with the things that truly needed to be forgotten has made me discover just what needs to be kept around. WorldSave is obviously one of the things that I will never forget.

So this mod needed a break, and I took one. Getting back into things may be slow, but they are coming. Life has been hectic with all these changes, but they are not unwanted. I just need to re-attach to some of my strengthening roots and remember who I am, even though these changes are trying to sweep me along with them.

I hope that anyone who has felt a similar experience can learn from these words: don’t forget who you are. This time around I’ve managed not to forget, but there have been times I’ve totally forsaken myself for the stupidest of reasons. This isn’t to say you cannot find new sides to yourself. By all means, grow and learn. But don’t forget who you are, what caused you to become that way, both good and bad. You can only move forward through understanding yourself.

I also hope that these glimpses into my personal life will cease before long. This site is both for personal and global development, but my original intention was to have it be very impersonal. Clearly that is not the route it has taken. Anonymity aside, you more or less know my story. If even one person can relate and learn from it then I’ve done my job. If not, then at least I’ve helped myself through a small vent.

I hope that these updates saying “WorldSave continues!” will cease and WorldSave will, in fact, continue. Its depressing to me to see it so stagnant. I love this site and what it stands for is what I’ve chosen to center my life around. I’ve forgotten it for a small amount of time so I could remember what its like to be young and have fun and not worry about anything (something I never really did in life), but it came back before long… for better or worse. I like to think for better but this whole “worrying” thing might get to me.

The goal to save the world remains. I’ll never forget it completely. That’s who I am, its a part of me now. There’s other parts too, but something tells me this goes a little deeper.

Lia Cross

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Since I’ve become increasingly more busy I’ve been wondering about boredom.  It is a truly desctructive thing to me, most notably my mind.  Not being busy drives me literally a little bit nuts, and I’m fairly certain I’m not the only one.  Why is this?  What causes boredom besides just not having anything to do?  Is it a lack of ingenuity?  How can we solve this?

I believe the cause of boredom is that our lives have become routine, and we have become dependent on external factors to entertain us.  We spend most of our lives working, which is the routine.  That takes of time and keeps us busy.  Off of work we will have hobbies, friends, family–all good outlets to avoid boredom and inactivity.  But what happens when a day comes along and there is just really nothing to do?  We sit in front of the TV all day, or do some similar mind numbing activity just to pass the time.  Because of this, we have lost the ability to create our own fun, our own culture, our own reality.  We have become dependent on other things to tell us how we should be, and if we are not doing one of those things boredom sets in.  What if there’s nothing on TV?  What if our external sources break or go missing?  Then what?

We could turn to books or the like.  Teaching ourselves something new is always a good way to keep the mind active.  Actually participating in something as a means of learning is a way to keep our body active as well.  Exercise.  Create something.  Make your own culture and reality, don’t depend on anything external to feed it to you.

This post may seem wildly unrelated and random, but its purpose is to somehow inspire you to create your own fun, and to make your time spent doing worthwhile things.  Perhaps, I also needed to remind myself of this as well.

Lia Cross

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I have encountered the term “over-think” a lot lately. I understood what it meant even though I had never bothered to define it. Realizing this, I have decided to define it, discover what about it is so problematic, and how to overcome it.

To over-think something seems to mean that there is an imbalance between thought and action. If we are over-thinking then we are thinking when we should be at the acting stage. To prepare for an action is wise, but to over-prepare can be just as devastating as not preparing at all (in certain instances). For example, imagine preparing to turn your car. You slow down. You turn your blinker on. Perhaps you near the right or left side of the road. This is only all acceptable in the event that you DO turn. If you miss the turn and continue on this course, it could be quite devastating to traffic and to yourself and anyone else on the road. There is a disconnect and misunderstanding in communication, and a lack of commitment to the action which creates confusion and in this instance is even quite dangerous. To prepare for any action in life is necessary, but only if the action is eventually taken. If the action is not taken, or if is taken too late, then this can be seen as a moment that one has “over-thought” the scenario.

What exactly is the problem with over-thinking? As you see, when one is so bent on thinking that they do not act enough (or at the right time), we can become paralyzed. Our thoughts literally stop us in our tracks. When we over-think, we tend to focus on not just how we should prepare but also on all the things that could go wrong in the event we take the action. This leads us to delay the action, or not do it entirely. This is clearly a problem for any individual wishing to lead at least a relatively normal life. Action is the only way we live, present ourselves, get anything done. Thinking is a precursor to it, but it cannot take action’s place.

The best way I can tell to overcome over-thinking is to recognize a thought in the instant you receive it and then act upon it as immediately as you can. This overcompensation leads to action over thought, which may seem awkward and foolish at first but is, in my opinion, a better option than to over-think and avoid or delay action. In any event, the overcompensation will in all likelihood even you out to the point where you are thinking and action in equal proportions, and no longer jumping into action nor delaying/avoiding it.

Lia Cross 

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Yesterday was the 10th day of the Laziness trial.  I spent it all day in the city with friends.  We walked about 5 miles plus and my feet were killing me, but it was fun.  We went to a bakery called babycakes.  It took 4 miles of walking to get there (that was the bulk of it), but it was totally worth it.  They had all of the best baked goods I’ve ever had.  Best corn bread, best cupcakes, BEST cinnamon buns (they called them skinny buns).  The brownies were excellent too, but a little rich for my taste.  And the best part?  It was all vegan and wheat free.  They even had stuff that was gluten free.  And there was no granulated white sugar, it was mostly all sweetened with agave.  Everything was sweet, moist, and delicious.  I encourage anyone who can get there to GO.  Totally worth it.  Next time I’ll be taking the subway, though.

During this trial I’ve exercised almost everyday and now I want to do it.  I think being vegan has something to do with it because I feel lighter and better overall.  Plus, forcing myself into action has helped keep me going.  Today might be the first day I take a break from cardio exercise though because my feet are still a little in pain.  That’s okay though, cause its a weight day.

The house got a little messy, which I think shouldn’t have happened if I’m no being lazy.  However, we have company over so that makes it a little more difficult.  Either way, its no excuse and I should have kept things neater.

Overall I think the trial was a success.  I am less lazy than I was before.  I’ve been very busy, so I haven’t been able to get to all my different chores everyday, but I’ve never spent a whole day sitting around doing almost nothing, so its progress.

I quit the other job I got because of the distance it took to travel and the fact that it wasn’t worth what I was being paid.  I have two other opportunities lined up, though, so I’m still okay.  I’m also going ahead with volunteering for the local First Aid and Rescue Squad, because I really want to do that.

Another thing that happened was the separation of a long commitment.  In other words, my significant other and I have decided to be just friends.  I wouldn’t find that appropriate to include that here except for the fact that I feel like it was something we had coming for a while, and now it is finished.  Just another thing that was “done” during this trial.

To keep myself going, I want to continue another trial.  However, but the 6th or 7th day of this trial I sort of forgot I was on one.  I was just on autopilot at that point.  So, I wonder if another trial is even necessary?  Still, just to be on the safe side,  I’m going to initiate another laziness trial.  However, I need to change the rules.

Rule #1:  The house must stay clean.  If something needs cleaning and I have honestly nothing more important to do at that moment, I must do it.  Most things I have on my list to do are more important than cleaning, but then it never gets done.  That must be taken care of.

Rule #2:  I must go outside on every sunny day.  I say this because I don’t get enough sun and because I want to start exercising outside.  Also, I just need to get out of the house.  “Going out” counts as a walk, sitting in the sun, or even driving somewhere like the mall or movies.  Just so long as I get out.

Rule #3:  I need to reconnect with friends, and make new ones.  I’m a really bad friend because I won’t call people usually.  I’ve been “too lazy”, as you know.  So that is something I need to work on for this next trial.

Rule #4:  I need to find a steady, satisfying source of income.  I have at least three options open to me, I just need to follow through.

I think that’s enough for now.  Those are mostly things I’m already working on but haven’t made a point to actually do.  Not too much of a burden too fast.

So the next ten day trial starts tomorrow.  For today I’m going to clean up as best I can.  I won’t give updates this time unless I find another strategy that I need to use and works well.  After the first few days my only strategy has been to write down everything I need to do in a day, and pick which ones are high priority.  I’ve kept with that the whole time.  At the end, I’ll give you an update to see how it went, if I stuck with my goals and if I had to use any strategies to get there (in addition to the list making).

Lia Cross

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Last night I exercised by lifting weights, only for a minute though. I wanted to use a new treadmill we got, but I didn’t have the key (it was left at the home of the relative who discarded the machine). Hopefully today I can get on that instead.

This morning I didn’t sleep nearly as late as yesterday, although I’m pretty sure that’s because there was a dog barking outside from relatively early (I’m not sure of the time but it was still mostly dark out, so maybe 5AM?) up until recently (its 1:30 PM). I woke at 11 AM. I feel pretty awake, but perhaps not entirely refreshed. I went to bed last night with a lot of digested food in my gut, which made me feel very uncomfortable and caused me to wake at least once. The thing is, although I did eat late, I knew this was food from around 6PM. I guess the timing was right but next time I won’t eat so much around the same time.

Anyway, after waking I got some things done, but I wasted too much time on the computer. By “wasting time” I mean that I was reading the news, which really isn’t a waste, but it still wasn’t getting done many things I need to do.

For today…

Must do:

-Interview after 4pm.

-Clean in pet room (this I more or less promised to do today, with or without help).

-Blog (I’m even doing 2 today!)

-Research.

-Write a resume.

Might do:

-Clean around house.

-Exercise.

-E-mail

-Make something for someone.

Extra:

-Shower.

I know a shower shouldn’t really be “extra”, but I have so much other stuff to do that I just tacked it on there. Chances are I’ll get that done, but… just noting that at this point its secondary.

So far I’ve:

-Checked email.

-Made the resume.

-Cleaned up a bit in the kitchen.

-Blogged once.

-Cleaned the cat litter.

-Researched.

I want to wait until after my interview to clean in the pet room, and to exercise, so I’m not gross beforehand. Well, I could shower of course, but then I’d have to do my hair which makes more work in the long run. Besides, there’s plenty of time after the interview to get that all done.

So far with the research I’ve actually done very little. Only a few pages. I just can’t get myself into the groove. I would like to exercise to wake up more, perhaps to help become more focused, but as I said already I don’t want to get sweaty. I wasn’t anticipating waking so early, so I have more time than I estimated. This is good, of course, except for the fact that my interview is so late and a lot of the things I have to do are best saved until after.

Or, I could just be making excuses. That’s more likely. Still, short of pushing myself to do stuff I don’t want to, I think my best bet is to wait to exercise and clean after the interview when I’ll be sort of hyper from the whole experience and wanting to work off adrenaline. So, it seems energy saving to wait. I’ll save my energy now for the interview and use the momentum from after to do more work.

In saving energy I’ve ventured to do more research, but I still only get done paragraphs at a time. Its a little sad. I’m considering napping for a little bit, but I think that would be counter productive. Also, the dog is barking again. I could make that something that I need to for a family member. In fact, that’s a good idea. The question is, will I do it now? Who knows.

It seems laziness is creeping back in on me. Perhaps this morning will be a lazy one. But I still anticipate this evening to be energetic and worthwhile. For now, though, I’m going to work on visualizing success at my interview, and how exactly I’m going to make my offer on rate of pay.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

From the last post to about 3pm I took a nap. I felt good after but, honestly, it wasn’t necessary. I would have rather had exercised and then showered, but I’ve already outlined why I didn’t do that.

The interview went well, and as promised when I got back I cleaned the pet room with the help of my house-mate. It really needed it. I also did something else that I was planning on saving for tomorrow.

What I didn’t do was exercise or shower, but I will probably exercise before this night is up. I may even do more research as I sort of skimped on that today out of tiredness.

Overall, truth be told, it was a pretty lazy day. I think my nervousness for my interview sort of kicked me down a few notches. Still, I got done the one thing that REALLY did need to be done, so I am satisfied. I feel ready for tomorrow and getting all my chores done and maintaining the cleanliness of my home.

Lia Cross

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